Posted by: jeezysanchez | May 17, 2012

26 Clayton Presents: Late Night Delight

What happens when you stick 6 guys in a house for 5 months with only their imaginations and Showtime on Demand?  Why, you get the creation of Late Night Delight of course! It began as an innocent evening watching an airing of The Devil Wears Nada, but it quickly transformed into 26 Clayton’s finest creation.

We couldn’t take full credit for LND, as we used another group, known as Action Sunday, for the inspiration.  Action Sunday was a local group of dudes that watched 80’s action movies and rated them.  The next logical step was to take that rating system and alter it towards terrible softcore porn, obviously.  BUT, it’s not just about the skin flicks.  Late Night Delight is about the EXPERIENCE, and I don’t mean jerkin’ your Gherkin’.  So how does it work? Keep your pants on, I’ll explain.

Each participant has an official Late Night Delight rating sheet. It looks something like this:

There are 8 main categories (Common occurrences):

  • One Liners – Most people fast forward through the non-sex scenes.  But this is where the real magic happens.  The writers of porn have a thankless job.
  • Cheesy Music – “Cheesy” doesn’t do this category justice.
  • Unintentional Comedy – The whole movie is unintentionally funny, but try to find specifics.
  • Bad Acting – One step above high school plays
  • Shitty Titties – Softcore porn has VERY low standards in the breast department
  • Masturbation Sensation – Self-explanatory
  • Unnatural Sex Positions – Unless there’s a new hole we don’t know about, a lot of these positions leave us dumbfounded.
  • Girl/Girl – Scissor me timbers!

Then we have 8 sub-categories (Less common):

  • Man AssGross
  • Dream Sequence
  • Slow Motion
  • Black People – Rarer than you think!
  • Bush – Porn stars in softcore movies let themselves go
  • Showers
  • WTF Moments – This could literally be anything
  • Red HeadsIf you see a ginger in a porno, make a wish, then fast forward through that scene.

As you watch the film, make a tally next to each category as they occur.  In addition, write down any and all of your favorite quotes from the movie.  Don’t stop there though.  LND is meant to be watched with a group, and the real fun is writing down quotes from your friends who are completely enthralled with a porno.  Take note of EVERYTHING going on in the room.  You’d be surprised how many pelvic thrusts, toe tapping, and high fives are going on.

When the movie is over, turn on the lights, conduct a hand check with your fellow Late Night Delighters, then go around the room sharing your favorite quotes and comments.  Now it’s time to score the film.  This is done by adding up all of the tally marks you made and taking the average of the rest of your group.  See? We like to exercise the mind AND the body [wink].

Congratulations, you just finished your first Late Night Delight!  That wasn’t creepy at all now, was it?


Stay tuned, as What Are Do will begin its Late Night Delight Series, breaking down the finest adult movies that Time Warner’s On Demand selection has to offer.

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