Posted by: kdiggs22 | January 30, 2012

What Are Do Marky Mark

Rather than publish half a dozen 7th grade introductions on who we are as people and bloggers, we wanted to provide a more creative way to let you, the reader, into what you can expect from us. Some of us have known each other for years in one form or another, and some of us have never met, but because of a WWE Fantasy League (yeah, I said it,) we all ended up in a Facebook chat together and it led us here. What you are about to witness is our greatest work to date. If you are easily offended I would turn back now and head to the more serious posts on what are do, if you can find them.

Anyways, the great and heralded Mark Wahlberg gave us the following quote about 9/11 and it spawned an afternoon of casting and outlining a movie, simply titled “9-11 The Wahlberg Story. If anyone makes a couple hundred million dollars stealing our movie idea and cast, we ask for front row seats to WrestleMania and a lot of credit. Everything else is negotiable.

On being scheduled to be on one of the planes that crashed into the World Trade Center on 9/11: 

“If I was on that plane with my kids, it wouldn’t have went down like it did. There would have been a lot of blood in that first-class cabin and then me saying, ‘OK, we’re going to land somewhere safely, don’t worry.”

Wahlberg provides us with the idea for our future hit movie (and by future, think sometime in about 100 years when no one is around who could possibly remember why all of this is offensive.) As a group we filled in the major plot points, casted the movie, and designed the movie poster. Really, all we need is someone with lots of money, a desperate D-List celebrity already cast in the movie (take your pick), and a little pull in Hollywood from someone that has gone slightly insane. 

Before we could fill in any of the plot aside from what Wahlberg laid out in his quote, we had to cast this guaranteed Oscar Winner. We covered every area, from our heroes, to pilots, air traffic controllers and the love interest of Wahlberg it was all decided in a very scientific, err, well, ridiculous manner.

The Cast:

Andy Samberg takes on the lead role as Mark Wahlberg

Blake Lively as Wahlberg’s wife and mother of his child

Vin Diesel (our star power and big money draw) plays Wahlberg’s wife’s ex-boyfriend who happens to be WWE Superstar John Cena.

Aziz Ansari plays the role of lead terrorist

Morgan Freeman is simply cast in a role he knows: GOD.

We needed a United States President and after killing it in 2012, Danny Glover gets the nod.

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar takes on a very familiar role as Captain of the plane and one of the feel good heroes of the movie. His Co-Pilot, if we can find him, and this is a big if, is oft forgotten Miami Dolphins running back of the same name, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.

Swedish Chef of the Muppets takes on the always-needed position of the courageous flight attendant, who helps take care of the injured passengers and the scared children.

Rico Rodriguez who has stolen Americas heart in ABC’s Modern Family will play the adopted child of Blake Lively and Vin Diesel, who despite all of Diesel’s attempts to prove to his son he doesn’t suck, looks to Samberg for support and advice and courage for everything in life.

Other Cameo appearances will be made by Clint Howard (feel free to google), Marlon Wayans (feel free to google again), and Reginald Vel Johnson (so you don’t have to google this one…it’s Carl Winslow).

If this star-studded cast is not enough to draw every American into a theatre then certainly the epic storyline will…

The Movie begins with in a very Titanic manner with Grandpa Mark Wahlberg, played by Mark Wahlberg, retelling the historic adventures of his youth during what could have been a day filled with disaster. Cut to Wahlberg (played by Samberg) boarding his plane on that fateful September day in 2001. This is followed by a bunch of dialogue, a couple of untimely deaths, a love triangle between John Cena (play by Diesel), Wahlberg and Blake Lively’s character, and ultimately Wahlberg saving the day and landing the plane. The movie ends with Diesel giving this speech as Wahlberg bathed in blood looks upon the plane, city and country he just saved. Roll Credits.

Seriously at this point if one of the major Hollywood movie studios has not already begun to work on this masterpiece then the finalized Movie Poster HAS to put them over the edge.

Ladies and Gentlemen you now have the 2121 Academy Award Winners for Best Picture and a brief insight into the people you will be hearing from if you continue to find your way back to WhatAreDo.

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